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Anxiety is a pain in the rear, and unfortunately, anxiety disorders are extremely common.

If you wonder if you have anxiety- you probably do.

Around 40 million Americans are estimated to have some kind of anxiety disorder. 

It totally sucks…

Seriously.

Whether or not you have received a diagnosis, almost everyone deals with anxiety at some point in their lives, and some people are naturally more prone to it than others. 

Though none of these tips are intended to replace professional help, here are some practical techniques that can help you kick anxiety to the curb and relieve its undesirable effects.

Just Breathe

It may seem like the simplest one, or the one you hear all the time, but there’s a reason for it: breathing is one of the most effective physiological ways to regulate anxiety. 

ok, most anxiety.

If you hear a strange noise it’s always better to call 911 or deal with it yourself with a home defense option.

Doing yoga won’t make the boogey man go away.

But for all the other stuff, like fear about public speaking, or dealing with relationship issues- deep long breaths are a must!

When you’re anxious, your sympathetic nervous system switches into “fight-or-flight” mode and starts releasing stress hormones. The symptoms are palpable: quickened heart rate, shortened breathing, and constricted blood vessels.

It’s difficult to feel less anxious when your body is physically manifesting stress, and since mind and body are connected, one of the best ways to combat the body’s fight-or-flight response is through deep, controlled breathing.

(exercise is good here too- because it forces you to use better breathing techniques!)

There are a variety of different “breathing techniques,” but a good rule of thumb that doesn’t take much forethought is to take deep, even breaths in and out, inhaling as deep as you can and exhaling as slow as you can.

This will help bring your heart rate down and induce a calmer, more controlled state of mind.  

Your body will thank you!

Bring Yourself Back to the Present

When we’re anxious, our minds race ahead, thinking about the future and speculating about things that may not even be likely to happen. Anxiety is future-focused, and worrying about the future doesn’t help you control it.

In contrast, the one thing you can control is how you feel in the present moment, the here and now.

When you feel anxious or stressed, an important key is to bring yourself back to the present–a technique often referred to as “mindfulness”–and focus on where you are and what you’re doing right here, right now.

Here’s a trick-

Find 5 objects that have pointed ends.

or 10 objects that are red.

Count the ceiling tiles or the floor tiles.

Then you can start to focus on being in the present.

In doing so, it’s also important that you acknowledge the positive, asking yourself questions like: Am I okay? Am I healthy? Am I safe?

Really take a second to evaluate your status.

Often, anxiety causes us to forget that in the moment, everything is okay. If things are not okay, then working through them in the present is still better than letting your mind assume the worst will happen. 

By focusing on the here and now, you can tackle problems one at a time as they occur instead of worrying about unknowable outcomes. 

Be Honest with Yourself

Damn, if this isn’t one of the hardest ones to do!

You know what happens- most times you’ve lied yourself into thinking your alright.

That your boss yelling at you is ok.

That not having enough money to pay the bills is just normal.

That you have to suffer through life.

but you know what all of those are?

LIES.

lies you tell yourself everyday that you put up with them.

A lot of people handle anxiety by trying to deny that they have it, thinking that if they just ignore the problem or the feeling, that it will go away.

This is misleading and it rarely works, even if the person does succeed in distracting themselves. If the problem goes unchecked or unacknowledged, then it is not likely to go away.

An important part of dealing with anxiety is to be honest with yourself if you have it, recognizing that it doesn’t make you weak or unfit–it’s the brain’s natural response to environmental stressors coupled with one’s mental patterns, and it can be helped. 

Once you have identified the problem instead of ignoring it, you can take the necessary steps towards fixing it or alleviating it.

Most importantly, however, is not to be too hard on yourself for it.  

Sometimes we don’t realize we are lying to ourselves. Sometimes we need someone to shake us out of our comfort zone.

Be honest with yourself about what you’re going through and what you need to do to help yourself. Everyone’s different in terms of what they need–some need to talk it out, others need to be alone–but everyone can benefit from self-reflection.

Dedicate Time to Think 

Anxiety torments people by happening around the clock or at the worst possible times.

Laying in bed, driving the car, in a meeting at work, in line to pick up the kids.

Anxiety can strike whenever and wherever- especially when you dont take any time for yourself.

You may not even know why you’re anxious, but you just can’t stop worrying. An effective way to combat this is to dedicate time to think about it. 

It seems counterintuitive, but in reality, it works by forcing you to confront the anxious thoughts instead of letting them swirl around in the back of your mind.

It combines the mindfulness mentioned above with the honesty mentioned before: you’re focusing on the present, and you’re getting honest about what you’re thinking.

Of course, it’s important to make sure that you’re not giving into your anxious thoughts and fretting about worst-case scenarios.

This is the time to freak the F out about the jeans you wore in middle school, and if you’ll have enough in your retirement account.

Instead, use the time to work through your thoughts and do a “fact-check”: maybe you’re nervous about a presentation, but your anxiety is telling you that you’re going to do terrible.

Try this instead

acknowledge that yes, you’re nervous, and yes, you might mess up, but that you also know what you’re talking about and that whatever happens, it will be okay.

Take Care of Yourself

This isn’t BS self care like the magazines try to sell you- this is legit, tailored, I want to take care of myself for real, items we are talking about.

This can include a lot of different factors, but it generally boils down to two main things: diet and exercise.

BOOM.

imma repeat that.

Taking care of yourself is based off of FOOD AND MOVEMENT.

Studies have shown that substances like sugar and caffeine contribute to anxiety, so by watching what you eat and drink and how you feel afterwards, you can often decrease how anxious you feel, too.

Of course, another important key is exercise. Exercise lowers the body’s levels of the stress hormone cortisol and increases the body’s production of endorphins, which improve your mood. 

This means it’s time to plan a good hearty meal and have some fun afterwards at a dance party or a good walk around the park!

When assessing your lifestyle, it’s important to find what works for you and makes you feel good: you don’t have to commit to a crazy diet plan or exercise regimen to be happier and healthier.

Just work on making better choices, pay attention to how you feel after you eat or drink certain things, and do the kind of exercise you enjoy the most, whether it’s walking, biking, yoga, or whatever.

An elimination diet cold be very helpful here- in a nut shell you eliminate foods that you think might be causing an issue. Like how dairy causes inflammation in some people, other foods can cause anxiety.

Other important keys include drinking enough water, getting enough sleep, and–yes–taking time to relax and pamper yourself every once in a while. Sometimes, you need it.

Spend Time With Loved Ones

This is kinda self explanatory.

BUT NOT SOCIAL MEDIA

wait what?

Not social media?

But that’s where my loved ones are!

Well… sorry charlie, but social media can increase depression and anxiety.

Anxiety often makes people want to avoid the company of others, and though it is important to get alone sometimes, there are also benefits to spending time with others, especially loved ones with whom you feel comfortable and safe.

Social media, in this aspect, can actually increase loneliness.

Having someone to physically spend time with, even if it’s just one person, helps the body release oxytocin, a natural stress-relieving hormone.

It also distracts you (in a good way) from whatever you’re worrying about and, if you’re doing it right, takes the focus off yourself and onto the people you’re with.

No one needs to feel alone or isolated by anxiety, so it’s important to have people to confide in or who make you feel happier and more secure.

And by reciprocating that sense of love and care towards others, you’ll do yourself a world of good.

Find yourself a buddy and get to spend some time doing nothing.

It will be SOOOOOO good for you!

Break out the ole joke book

They say laughter is the best medicine, and in this case, it can actually be true.

It’s hard to feel anxious when you’re cracking up, and studies have shown that it lowers your stress response and helps relax your muscles.

It’s kind of like it’s own form of deep breathing.

Like that time your friend told a joke and you laughed so hard you couldn’t breathe.

That’s the kind of deep breathing were looking for.

So next time you’re feeling anxious, watch a funny YouTube video or your favorite comedian, or go watch a comedy movie with some friends.

Now you’re not only laughing, but spending time with people and laughing together, too.

Things that are funny lighten the mood and may even help you to step back and assess your worries with a more lighthearted frame of mind. 

Conclusion

People- it’s hard in the moment when anxiety strikes, but in reality, you’ve got some tools to help you feel less wound up.

Get back to feeling like yourself by taking care of your diet, getting active and finding more loved ones to share your time and laughs with.

Self-love and self-care are hot topics these days, and not without good reason: in today’s society, we are constantly bombarded with stimuli that influence our day-to-day thinking.

The ability to love one’s self is a learned skill, and depending on your self-image, it can take years to develop the skill. However, it is certainly available to learn how to love yourself, and these simple steps will help you build habits of self-love.

1. Watch your thoughts

In order to love yourself, the essential step is to start paying attention to the way you think about yourself.

Most people don’t think about their thinking–it’s a habit you have to cultivate day in and day out, but in order to love yourself, you must start by swapping negative thoughts for positive ones each time you catch yourself thinking them.

-Treat yourself the way you treat others

You’ve heard the saying “treat others the way you’d like to be treated,” but the inverse is also true.

Most of the time, it’s hard to love others if you don’t love yourself, but if you’re  the kind of person who finds it easy to do things for others but never pays attention to your own needs, then you should definitely apply your good habits towards others to yourself. 

-Set boundaries 

It’s also important to set boundaries in your life and in your relationships.

When you have a positive self-image, you are less likely to let people walk all over you or do things you’re uncomfortable with for the sake of not letting someone else down.

Learning that it’s okay to say no out of respect for yourself will help you build a habit of valuing your worth. 

-Spend time by yourself

Spending time with friends and family is great and can be very healthy, but sometimes, it’s necessary to get alone in order to rest or just do the things you like to do.

It also gives you an opportunity to reflect on your thinking and work things out without distractions.

Of course, this implies that you put the technology aside sometimes–though it’s also nice to watch a movie or some YouTube by yourself sometimes, too. 

-Cultivate loving relationships

On the flipside, loving yourself also means spending time with the people who love you, whether it’s your significant other, family member, or friend. In any case, it is important that it is a loving relationship–not a one-way street, not hostile or negative, and not toxic. No relationship is perfect, but if you walk away feeling like crap almost every time, or then it’s probably time to rethink that relationship’s value. The people you spend the most time with should bring out the best in you, not the opposite.

-Don’t settle for less

This is advice often used in relationships, but it is certainly applicable to other areas, too: don’t settle for the job that you hate, the haircut that sucked, or even when a restaurant gets your order wrong. There’s nothing wrong with having high standards as long as you don’t start expecting perfection. Believing that you deserve quality relationships, quality services, and a quality life is an important part of loving yourself.

-Learn how to relax

Many of us are on the go a lot–jobs, school, family, etc., and we don’t take the time to relax enough. Relaxation doesn’t always mean a week-long vacation. (Although that’s nice sometimes, too!) It can mean a fifteen-minute breather, an evening of pampering, or a nature walk at the local park. Anyway you slice it, relaxation is an essential part of showing yourself a little self-love and makes it easier for you to do the things you need to do.

-Be honest with yourself

It’s really easy, depending on who you are, to slip into denial when it comes to recognizing your weaknesses–because most of us don’t like our flaws, and we don’t want to think about them. Even though it’s not productive to focus on them obsessively, it’s also not productive to pretend they don’t exist. That means you’re lying to yourself, because everyone has weaknesses. Being honest about your mistakes and accepting the fact that you’re not perfect is actually more loving than ignoring them–because then you can grow through them.

-Believe in grace

It doesn’t matter what your personal belief system is–you’re better off believing in grace than not, because when you do make mistakes, you need a healthy way to deal with them. The alternative is having grace on yourself–determining that your shortcomings do not have any bearing on your self-worth. It can be difficult to do at times, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes.

-Forgive yourself

Right next to grace is forgiveness–and again, it doesn’t matter what your belief system is, because forgiving yourself is essential to self-love. When you hold onto your mistakes, you’re not helping anyone–least of all yourself. No matter how big the mistake is, learning to forgive yourself is incredibly healing.

-Learn to let go of the past

This goes hand-in-hand with forgiving yourself, but the difference is that it also implies forgiving others. Many times, not forgiving others is just as (if not more) damaging to yourself than it is to the other person. Letting go of past transgressions–whether they were your fault or someone else’s–is a two-fold kindness to yourself and to others.

-Live in the present 

If you’re not living in the past, then you may be fretting the future–which isn’t going to help you love yourself much. All we really have is the present moment, and it’s enough just to face the challenges (and successes) of the day. It’s not that you can always ignore the concerns of the future, but you can choose to accept where you are today and treat each day as a fresh start.

-Do the things you love

This one seems self-evident, but many of us don’t take the time to do the things that

make us happy–whether it’s drawing, reading, playing basketball, anything positive. But loving yourself does mean doing the things you love, so find what makes you happy and do it!

-Treat yourself every so often

You’ve likely heard this before–and though you can definitely go overboard with treating yourself, if you’re the kind of person who tends to deny yourself the things that you want, then by all means, treat yo’self! (Parks and Rec fans, I hope this reference resonates.) Buy that cute top, that cheeseburger, that doo-dad. As long as you’re not breaking the bank, show yourself a little love every now and then and buy yourself a present!

-Give freely

Yes, you should give to yourself, but also giving to others is one of the most fulfilling ways to love yourself–as long as it’s not out of obligation or guilt. Giving freely–without expecting anything in return–is just as satisfying for you as it is for the person you’re giving to, and in that act of selflessness, you’re showing yourself more love than if you were to hold back from giving. 

-Take care of yourself

Treating yourself is nice, but beware of treating yourself too much–because part of loving yourself is loving your body, too. This doesn’t mean you become a health guru, but it does mean you take the necessary steps to feel good, whether it’s walking, running, biking, yoga, drinking more water, making wholesome meals, or eliminating foods that make you feel blah. You only get one body–so love it!

-Celebrate your accomplishments

Thanks to negativity bias, most of us are more likely to focus on our failures than on our accomplishments–but you can’t forget all the things you’ve succeeded in doing, no matter how small! Take the time to write a list of everything you feel proud of, even if it feels insignificant–and then celebrate them!

-Don’t compare yourself to others

This one is huge, because in our social media-saturated world, it’s easy to spend hours looking at people who seem much prettier/healthier/happier/more successful than you. First of all, you have no idea what those people’s lives are actually like, and it’s a guarantee that they have flaws. Second of all, you can only be the person you are, and just like celebrating your accomplishments, you have to celebrate what makes you unique, too.

-Be yourself

Naturally, this one would make the list. Easier said than done, right? We can’t always be 100% ourselves in every setting. If you’re loud and boisterous, you probably can’t be that way at your quiet job. Although, if it’s too much to bear, maybe it’s worth your while to find a job that plays to your strengths! The goal is to be the most yourself as possible, and if you’re holding back, then take a step back and ask yourself why. 

-Learn to let go of the little things

Similar to living in the present, learning to let go of the little things implies that you keep moving forward and not let small irritants ruin your day or your self-image. So you spilled your coffee–that sucks, but it’s nothing to beat yourself up over. So you didn’t get your laundry done like you said you would–tomorrow is a new day! Learning to love yourself means learning to laugh at your mistakes, to let them go, and to keep moving forward. You can’t control everything, but you can control how you think about yourself.