It’s still so hard to write about this topic- it really hurts. There’s so little information and support out there (but for a few saints who’ve bared their own pains and stories!).
Here’s the things that only parentless parents understand
You can see my other post about this topic- what’s it like to be a parentless parent
12 things I wish I didn’t know as a parentless parent
one- You will feel a void, and it will get better, but it will never go away
two- you will be jealous of other parents with parents. It doesnt matter if you see them at the grocery store or at the park or another kids birthday. It will sting. And it will hurt. You might feel bitterness. But you also know they will feel the pain when their parents die.
three- it’s damn near impossible to explain it to your kids. Yes, their grandparents loved them, no you aren’t hiding them. If you could go to the store and get a new grandma you would, but that’s not how it works.
four- you feel alone. No one for babysitting. No one to call when those firsts happen. The first tooth. The first date. Graduating from school. They are just yours to experience, and only yours.
five- You get really angry when you see other people mistreat their parents. Sure people fight, but youd give up so much just to have your parents back here with you, especially for your own kids, and then you see some smuck disrespecting their parents.
six- so much of your childhood is lost. When you want to call your parents to ask about a picture you remembered, or to inquire what you were like as a kid (so you can compare it to your kid) you can’t. Ever.
seven- When it comes to your kids, your stuck between a rock and a hard place. You want to talk about your parents, their grandparents, because you want them to know about them. But it also hurts that they aren’t here to tell them in person.
eight- Should you get surrogate grandparents? Should you find someone else to love your child like a grandparent? What if things go wrong? What if they go right?
nine- since your parents are gone, your anxiety is worse. and it’s sneaky. Who cares for the kids? Who loves the kids? Who would pick them up if you were running late?
ten- and because your parents died, you are forced to be the adultiest adult. It’s just you. You have to make sure you have a will, and you have to make sure that you are responsible. If SHTF you’re the one they will call because you’re the top of the family tree now.
eleven- you have a lot of ‘what ifs’. What if my mom was still here? What if my dad was still here? Would they be happy right now? Would they call everyday?
twelve- and most importantly, as a parentless parent, you make sure you go out of your way to be the best you can. You’re all your kids have-
Like woah. thats a LOT of pressure.
It’s so hard. so so hard. but you can’t give up, you have to survive so you can be the grandparent to your grandkids that you wished your kids had.