What’s it like to be a Parent-less Parent

What’s it like to be a Parent-less Parent

Sometimes we take things for granted- especially when we are younger.

I don’t think thats a bad thing- it just shows lack of maturity. When we take things for granted we don’t realize how valuable they are until things change.

That’s one of the biggest takeaways that happened when my husband and I were launched into being Parentless parents.

We didnt realize HOW VALUABLE good parents and good grandparents could be for our journey as parents.

What’s it like?

Honestly, it’s lonely.

and it’s hard.

You want to talk with your parents and share things about your kids- and all you can do is talk into the wind.

Pictures taken that you know they would have loved, saved just for only you to remember.

I cry when I see other multigenerational families having a good time

That may sound silly- but it’s true. I’m not even angry about it because one day I know those families will be in my shoes.

I only hope that they enjoy their parents and grandparents.

It’s hard to explain to your kids

Yesterday, my son struck up a conversation piece I’ve heard too many times.

“My Lala is dead, is that your Lala?” He ask some kids on the monorail at Disney World as he points at the grandma with them.

It’s weird that he can pick out grandparents so quickly, graying hair obvious signs of age despite his grandmother never getting old enough to turn gray.

He’s also the same kid that begged me for a new grandmother and thought for months that we were hiding hiding his grandmother despite seeing her wither away to nothingness in hospice.

If you’re young- your friends dont understand and sometimes your family doesnt either

None of my friends have lost their parents, in fact, they have very engaged parents and grandparents.

My aunt- she tries, but she never had children and lost her mom in her 30s. Her dad (my grandfather) is still kicking it into his 90s.

So how do we explain to other people just how hard it is to feel all alone, yet so blessed to have kids in this cruel world?

How do we explain that some of our happiest moments in the world are actually the saddest?

The Holidays and celebrations are the worst

I wish I could say that the holidays didnt hurt so bad- but they do.

One thing I’ve learned is to go all out- Life is way too precious. Even though it hurts, even though we know were missing part of our family. Even though the feelings of anger and sadness and abandonment are right below the surface after all this time; we still need to try to make the most of it, like we should have when our parents were still around to enjoy the holidays with us.